heartache

It's exceptionally rare for me to encounter something I want that I cannot have. It's not always right away but eventually I'll get it. I think this is mostly because the way I feel about life leads me to not want very much that isn't practical. So on the rare occasion that I set my sights on something beyond my means and allow that yearning to sink in, it hurts me so badly. My heart aches for this island.

It's 167 acres on the Tennessee River which would be so perfect. It has everything that I'd want in a property. Water access. Natural forest. Privacy. When I remind myself that those are the reasons why I like this place, I realize that it doesn't have to be this island, or any island, actually. Although, I can't stop hoping that the owner will get desperate and drop the price gradually over the next five years until we can afford it. Or that we'll find more people who are equally committed to starting a community to share costs. I wish somebody would just buy it already so I can move on.